When I was a child .....

When I was a child…..

Time moved very slowly
Summers were sunny
Sleep came easily
And there were no pains in my body.
My heart was undamaged
I trusted the world
Each new thing discovered
Each experience learned.
My mind was free
My spirit could fly
My dance was hope
And my song was joy.

As years passed by
The world pushed in
Trying to steal my joy
And imprison me.
Pain and sadness
Tried to drown me
And hopelessness
Rose up to engulf me.

Though the world has tempted
Bullied and scared me
Though I walk with a limp
And need glasses to see
Though time flies by
And I don’t always cope
My song is still joy
And my dance still hope.

SAC (January 2008)

SECURITY

If I had not been in this place
I would have missed so much.

I would not know the total assurance
That You are in control,
And my anxieties are wasted.

I would never have known
What it is to reach the end of everything,
To discover that it is just the beginning.

The relief of being at the very edge,
And find it holds no fear
Because that is where You are.

To have You help me
Stare terror up close,
And find it doesn’t have a face.

I would have only been able to guess
How much detail You control,
How You arrange all things for our good,
Even though we do not always know
That is what You are doing.

Now I am certain that You are with me,
Everywhere, all the time.
That I am Your child,
That I am in Your care,
That I am loved,
That I am safe.

(I wrote this poem in July 2002, on completion of follow-up treatment for cancer.)

Happy Christmas!

Just want to say "Happy Christmas" to all who read this blog! Have a wonderful Christmas and wishing you peace and joy in 2008.

Here's a Christmas poem I wrote last year.

THE STAR

We have travelled for so long I can barely remember home,
Or what it is like to sleep in the same place every night.
We have rested in the tents of strangers, a palace, and simple homes,
And many times slept under the star, the one that shines so bright.

The nights are very cold, and the days so hot and airless,
As we walk and rest, walk and rest, get up and walk once more.
We stop for food and water at busy meeting places,
And under palm trees men talk in tongues I’ve never heard before.

We travel as if searching, unsure of our destination,
And no-one seems to care why we follow this star.
But steadily I follow my master, for he is certain,
That this star is special, this star that has led us so far.

At last the star halts – have we found what we’re looking for?
I thought we were going to visit a king or a prince!
Instead we are here, standing in straw
Amongst livestock in a rough and dirty place.

But at the end of the building
I see my master and his friends kneeling,
And he is smiling, such a smile upon his face,
As the precious gifts are given to the family
And a baby – a baby who somehow shines,
And I feel love and peace in this place,
So I settle,
And rest,
At last.

ANGELS

As Christmas approaches, thought I'd post a Christmas poem or two. This one is from 2001.

ANGELS

Gliding over the earth

Pure white brightness

Picking out mountain and plain.

Whispered flight stirring

Forest and sea.

Winds cease,

Clouds part

Under the piercing light

And ageless song

Of the gathered throng.

"Glory ...

Glory to God ...

Glory to God in the highest,

Glory to God in the highest,

And on earth peace to men

On whom His favour rests."

The fearful men on the the hill

Run to the place where the star is shining,

And the child with the gentle face

Lies in simple splendour,

For ever to be adored.

"Wonderful Counsellor,

Prince of Peace."

Nothing will ever be the same.

God's Son - the gift of grace.

Indulgence

INDULGENCE

There is something simply delicious
About a book shop
The smells, the sights, the sounds
Glossy print, a hint of ink
A feast of colour piled high -
All displayed to please the eye
Tempting crackle of new paper
Seasoned with crisp binding
And a reverend hush
As partakers of the banquet
Whisper and admire.
Each course is sampled, savoured
The best ones chosen
And the diners
Leave the building content
With a doggy-bag of delight.

© Sheena Conroy, (2000) "In Praise of Poets", p. 19, Anchor Books: Peterborough

TREES

As autumn is here, I thought I would dig out a very early poem ....

Through bursts of sun and flurries of rain
The trees stand solid
Amid perfect circles of leaves fallen at their feet
Unquestioning
They allow nature to work its change.

Leaves line the driveway, orange, yellow, red
Autumn's rainbow
Cyclamen blossom beneath the tallest birch
The giant beech
Spreads ruby boughs, offering shelter.

Beacons of light glow against green
Lemon, scarlet, amber
Cheering the afternoon's gloom.
The breeze stirs
Treetop leaves whisper farewell to autumn's darkening sky.


Copyright Sheena Conroy, 1998, "Lasting Treasures", p. 38, Triumph House: Peterborough,
HB ISBN 1 86161 444 6, SB ISBN 1 86161 449 7

HELP!

It has been pointed out that I am not blogging much at the moment. True! I have had a rather fraught couple of weeks, what with the aforementioned installation of a new central heating system and assorted illnesses within the family.


Once all the clearing up was done (well, to be honest, I haven't done all of it yet) I began to prepare for speaking in Church this morning - and things became considerably worse! Somehow, I did something to my back and the pain and immobility yesterday was most inconvenient. Another teething problem from the work on the central heating reared it's ugly head - a veritable waterfall in the cupboard under the sink! This means that the cupboard has to be left empty, so the contents are scattered around the kitchen, added to our pans, mixer and slow-cooker which have become homeless following the removal of the final shelf in the boiler cupboard!

As I have mentioned previously, our cat, Tasha, has been a bit under the weather recently, so we have spoilt her. She is better now, but does not realise that this means the spoiling has come to an end, so she is constantly under my feet. Also mentioned in previous blogs, our ertswhile spasmodically working fridgefreezer now works properly, but only if it is plugged into an extension lead. It is interesting trying to negotiate the obstacle course that is our kitchen, with a bad back and a cat twining itself around your feet!

However, these things are annoying and inconvenient, but they will be sorted out very soon. Compared to many folk, I am very fortunate. I read Graham's most recent post this evening, and I feel bad about my wee domestic rant. I have so much to be grateful for. When life gets fraught, I should always remember that all I have to do is listen to God's "still, small voice of calm". And should life get tougher, then all I have to do is lean on Him and trust Him to guide me through. I wrote the following poem when life was especially difficult.

I've stopped struggling,
I've given in,
Exhausted with the battle
I hand it all to Him.

I'm fully surrendered,
Unable to stand,
He gently scoops me up
In the palm of His hand.

And His love and grace
Come shining though,
His mercy endless,
His promises true.

And I weep
With relief
As I rest
In His care.

Another Poem

Doon Hill is near Dunbar, East Lothian - Joe and I visited in the summer of 2004.


Doon Hill

At the very top of the hill
I’m rooted to the spot
As time ceases
And all becomes still.

The deep hills stand behind me
Spotlighted by the sun,
Shadows protect the secret places
Where the wild creatures run.
Trees murmur to each other
The intrusion of a stranger,
And the sea spread out far below,
Flat and calm and blue.

Silence.

Until the cornfield nearby
Erupts with the song and flight
Of skylarks,
Disturbed
By something unseen.

Silence.

Apart from the hum of a thousand bees
Ecstatic in a banquet of clover
And concerned as I walk by,
Brushing the grass
As I walk the cement lines
That trace the place
Where a building once stood
In a different time.

Ages melt together – did they see
The skylarks and the bees,
Did they listen to the stillness
And feel the peace balm of this place?

© Sheena Conroy, 2005,
Celebrations, p.436, Anchor Books: Peterborough, HB ISBN 1 84602 025 5

A Poem

It has been suggested that I post some of my poems, so here is the first one.....


Home

Travelling north to where I was born
Toward summers of childhood memories
I catch the yellow fields set against blue sea
And know that this is home.

Echoes of school call from the city
Of kind eyes and easy humour
Where my faith was awakened and born
This is also my home.

Yet home is here, my heart is set
Where our children grew among castles and hills
And together we continue to make
This place that is our home.

And still to come, another place
Where I will rest amid beauty and calm
A mansion purchased by love and grace
My everlasting home.

© Sheena Conroy (July 1999)