There are three fantastic things about going through a difficult time!
1. It alters your relationship with God
2. You discover who’s really in it with you
3. It ends!
Unfortunately, these things are only fully appreciated once you have come out at the other end! And the end is truly something to savour. It’s wonderful to feel your shoulders drop by three inches, to be aware that you do not have that constant twinge of a headache, and to feel your fingers unwind and relax. Whilst you were in the midst of the difficulties you had not even realised how tense your body was. Afterwards, you can sometimes be taken by surprise, by remembering it is actually all over! You had got so used to the tension and the headachy cloud that, for a split second, you had forgotten its over - and then you remember - and you can rejoice all over again! Of course, this spell is fairly short-lived!
It has sometimes been quite a surprise to me to discover who is actually with me during difficult times. We make assumptions as to whom we can count on, and from time to time we are disappointed when the folk we thought would be alongside us appear to take a back seat. I have come to the conclusion that some people, for whatever reason of their own, are simply not able to support others through difficult times. It’s not a lack of friendship, just an inability to know what to do and how to do it. Sometimes folk are dealing with their own problems and are unable to take on anything additional. There is also the fact that some people simply cannot recognise how badly we are affected and are, therefore, blind to the fact that we need their support.
On the other hand, I have been equally surprised by the love and support received from people that I had not expected it from - the ‘out of the blue’ telephone call, visit or card! These small acts of kindness are the uplift which carries you through a bad day. A caring word has value beyond explanation. I maintain that I came through a very bad time in 2008/2009 holding on to the hand of my two year old grandson! Of course, my two daughters and one particular friend were a strong support, as were my sisters, one or two other friends and some of my Church family. Ultimately, there are two things that bring us through a bad time – God and the support of other people.
As for changing our relationship with God? This is much more difficult to explain. During a bad time it can feel as if God has become distant and out of contact. Your prayers hit the ceiling and bounce around you – and how can they be answered if they never reach God? You keep coming across bad news and stories of others that seem hopeless. You even begin to question why God would allow this to happen to you. You begin to feel that you are not worthy of God’s help – and if the situation goes on and on, this would seem to confirm it. However, somehow, we remember that our faith is not measured by how we feel, but by knowing that God keeps His promises. So we hold on.
And by holding on, we are enabled to be ‘down but not out’. Then, from time to time, God sends us a word, or an answer to prayer – and this sustains our fragile grip. Slowly we begin to remember that God will never allow us to go through more than we can cope with. We are reminded that many others are going though much, much worse. And, eventually, the difficulties ease and we feel like ourselves again. One thing has altered though. Our relationship with God has been developed and this has helped us to grow. We put on more growth during difficult times than we do during times of ease. I guess it’s because we have no strength and have to rely on His. Because we know that we can trust Him to bring us through any future difficulties. Because it shows us that everything else in our lives may change, disappear, disappoint or hurt us – but God never changes. He promised to be with us always – and He’s just proved it!
None of us would choose difficult times, but they happen, and when they happen they bring us a deeper relationship with God, the knowledge that people around us care and a terrific sense of relief and joy when they are over!
I recently attended my nephew's wedding, which came just six weeks after the wedding of my niece. How lovely to celebrate good things! Another lovely day, and such a pleasure to be able to spend time in the company of all my family.
