Muse and Whether

2012-02-05T21:40:00.001Z

When I was a child…..

Time moved very slowly

Summers were sunny

Sleep came easily

And there were no pains in my body.

My heart was undamaged

I trusted the world

Each new thing discovered

Each experience learned.

My mind was free

My spirit could fly

My dance was hope

And my song was joy.

As years passed by

The world pushed in

Trying to steal my joy

And imprison me.

Pain and sadness

Tried to drown me

And hopelessness

Rose up to engulf me.

Though the world has tempted

Bullied and scared me

Though I walk with a limp

And need glasses to see

Though time flies by

And I don’t always cope

My song is still joy

And my dance still hope.

SAC (January 2008)

Onward...

2012-01-15T21:03:00.000Z

Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,

As the swift seasons roll!

Leave thy low-vaulted past!

Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,
Till thou at length art free
Leaving thine outgrown shell by life's unresting sea!

O. W. Holmes

Water

2012-01-10T22:38:00.000Z

Continuing with New Year Resolutions, I have finally arranged a monthly donation to http://www.wateraid.org/uk/

I've been meaning to donate to WaterAid for a long time, as I feel that this charity can help many people in many parts of the world, and because water is such an essential of life.

I know that, most of the time, I take the safe water in my taps very much for granted. And, although I moan a lot about the amount of rain we get here in Scotland, I think it is preferable to a total lack of rainfall, which often means failed crops, leading to hunger.

I'm donating £2 a month to WaterAid - a bargain I think!! Anyone care to join me?

Weathering the Storm

2012-01-07T18:36:00.003Z

Here in Scotland, we have recently had more storms than we have experienced in the past. The storm of last Tuesday (January 3rd) was so strong that it moved our very heavy shed off it's base!

Today I was tidying up in the garden, and around the greenhouse in particular. Having lost a greenhouse to a fairly wild storm on 31 May, my daughter and I had taken the precaution of removing the panes and stored them in the (now leaning!) shed. However, there were a couple of panes we could not remove - one in the roof skylight, and one just above the door.

Tuesday's storm removed the skylight one for us, which we have rescued and brought inside. However, the one above the door is still in place: this pane is, by far, the smallest pane of them all.

What struck me was that we don't have to be big and strong to weather storms. All we really need is to be securely anchored - and sometimes that happens best when we are very small - because we are not relying on our own strength but are, instead, standing on the Rock.

The Personal Touch

2012-01-04T21:01:00.003Z

One of my new year resolutions is to begin blogging again, so here goes.........

Two other resolutions are to make more phone calls and write more letters. One reason I made these resolutions is because this new year was very different to those I remember, because of the mobile phone and the computer.

At new year I would normally expected to speak to a number of folk by phone, or welcome them to my home or visit them in their's. This new years day I only spoke to four people, and two of them live with me! The third person I spoke to was my elder daughter who was visiting us for new years day dinner, and the fourth person was her Carer who collected her to take her home (but who did not even come into the house). We received no phone calls. Our first foot was our next door neighbour on the morning of 2 January.

Don't get me wrong - we did hear from folk - and I was very happy to hear from each and every one, and their contact and best wishes are valued more than they know. However, all these messages were via text or Facebook. I miss hearing people's voices. I miss seeing their faces.

I think that both computers and mobile phones are brilliant tools which are invaluable in many areas of life and work. However, have they also taken over areas where a telephone call, letter or visit are more appropriate? Are we in danger of losing the personal touch?

Is there anyone out there?

2009-07-06T18:44:00.002+01:00

So very long since I last posted anything that I will be very surprised if anyone is actually still reading this Blog!

This coming weekend I will be meeting up with a number of school friends. I am going to be staying with one of my closest friends, whom I've known since we were at Infants School, but we haven't actually seen each other for a long time. So I'm wondering if we will all recognise each other! Those who have attended Reunions before tell me that, after the first few moments, everyone is totally recognisable and the years simply melt away.

I am very much looking forward to meeting up with everyone and finding out about their life journeys. If folk are happy for me to do so, I will post some photos in a future post.

Goodbye!

2009-01-08T15:28:00.003Z

As I will not be blogging for the foreseeable future, I just wanted to say goodbye and thanks for your company!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS !!

2008-12-23T21:40:00.002Z

WHEREVER YOU ARE, AND WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING FOR CHRISTMAS, I WISH YOU A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND PEACE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS IN 2009.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given......"

Isaiah 9:6

A quiet place

2008-11-22T14:30:00.002Z

The other afternoon I was at the local hospital, visiting a friend from Church. It was incredibly busy everywhere, lots of people and lots of noise. Even the ward was, somehow, a hive of activity with lots of coming and going. My friend walked me to the ward-door at the end of visiting time and, as I waved goodbye to her, I realised that everywhere was still crowded, hot and noisy. As is my habit when visiting someone in hospital, I made my way to the Hospital Chapel and sat down to pray. I revelled in the total peace and absolute quiet. Then, slowly, it dawned on me that I would actually have preferred to find the Chapel as busy as everywhere else - rather than being the only place in the hospital that afternoon that was empty and quiet ............

Grumpy Old Woman

2008-11-01T21:36:00.003Z

It's been a while since I posted anything. Truth is that I'm currently trying to keep lots of plates spinning and this has made me tired and grumpy. Some of this is justified - namely the poor service that I have received from a couple of suppliers - gas and telephone. Shall I name them? Shall I tell the reasons? Maybe not - to go over it all again will only make me even more grumpy.

However, I am horrified at the cavalier attitude of some companies toward their customers. Do they not care that they may lose custom? In today's economic climate should they not be doing absolutely everything they can to keep their customers? If it's not their attitude, then it must be sheer inefficiency, and this makes a joke of the large salaries that their 'management' command. I sometimes feel - call me old-fashioned - that so called progress is sometimes rather cold and faceless.

A photo or two...

2008-10-05T01:17:00.009+01:00

..... one photo of my younger daughter and my grandson, patiently waiting for the bride! One of my elder daughter (centre) with two of my nieces. And two photos of my four nieces learning ceilidh dances!

And now for the good news 2 !

2008-10-05T00:59:00.008+01:00

I recently attended my nephew's wedding, which came just six weeks after the wedding of my niece. How lovely to celebrate good things! Another lovely day, and such a pleasure to be able to spend time in the company of all my family.

Here's my nephew with his lovely wife, and my sister and brother-in-law.

And now for the good news ......

2008-08-10T01:29:00.007+01:00

Last weekend I travelled to Lancashire to attend the wedding of my niece, Chloe, my late brother's daughter. A lovely day, and I enjoyed spending the weekend in the company of my two sisters, my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law.

TASHA

2008-07-30T20:43:00.003+01:00

Our lovely Tasha was put to sleep by the Vet 10 days ago. Her quality of life was deteriorating fast and it became obvious that this was the kindest thing for her. We enjoyed her company for over fourteen years, so we are going to miss her a lot...............

If you can't say anything nice ......

2008-07-19T20:28:00.002+01:00

That is it! Finally got to give vent to my feelings! I'm fed-up of people 'having a go' at people. At the moment the media are particularly bad - they suddenly seem to be having pops at people who have done them no harm at all. What happened to the phrase "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all."?

I can understand why some people are targeted but totally perplexed as to why U2 should be the latest addition to the long list of those who are used as the brunt of a cheap laugh.

Who do you think is an undeserving target?

QUOTE

2008-07-15T15:50:00.002+01:00

"I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive." HENRY MILLER

Pride

2008-05-29T22:32:00.004+01:00

...... caught a bit of "Britain's Got Talent Tonight" and there were some very talented young people performing. Their parents were talking about how proud they are of them, quite rightly, and that made me think. I'm proud of our children too. I'm proud of Sarah because she copes, most of the time, with her disabilities with a smile. I'm proud of Catriona because, despite panic attacks, she has achieved so much. I'm proud of Nathan because, although he left school early, he has worked his way up to a manager's post. There are many other reasons that I'm proud of them - but I think they are the people I should be saying this to, so I will!

Photos of Brazil

2008-05-18T22:49:00.013+01:00

A wee rant

2008-05-18T13:56:00.003+01:00

As mentioned in my last posting, Joe and I have just returned from a holiday in Brazil - amazing, fascinating, and we had opportunity to rest. However, at church this morning I was chatting to folk who asked for my impressions and (like so many other countries that I have visited) my overall impression is one of overwhelming contrast between the very rich and the very poor.

I just feel so dreadfully frustrated that there is so much wealth in the world - and so much poverty. I could jump up and down screaming with the injustice of it all!!! Yet, that is tinged with the guilt of being able to go to another part of the world on holiday .........

I know that many others must feel the same. But, what can we do? Can we do anything?

We're home.

2008-05-18T01:28:00.002+01:00

Home - always good to be home, no matter how great a holiday. We had some adventures in Brazil, some brilliant experiences, and I'm going to attempt to put some advice/suggestions on Trip Advisor.
What did we miss while we were away? Joe missed a decent cup of tea - tea, as we know it, could not be found! I missed people. What do we miss about Brazil? The warmth and being right beside the sea.
I'll post some photos soon.

Nostalgia

2008-04-28T00:40:00.004+01:00

I'm going away on holiday soon. We're going to Brazil and looking forward to exploring - but after we've had a rest!

For some reason I've been thinking of my holidays when I was a child. They were all spent with my maternal grandparents in a small fishing village on the north-east coast of Scotland. They owned the village's general store, Post Office, bakery, haberdashers, etc - the shop sold everything! I can still remember the smell of newly-dug potatoes, in sacks leaning against the food counter, and the fabulous scent of newly baked bread. There were huge slabs of butter and cheese, which were cut with a long piece of wire, and biscuits were loose in tins and sugar measured into thick, dark blue bags. I can remember the 'bop, bop, bop' sound of Granda stamping the mail before it was collected by the Royal Mail van.

The house was huge and part of the same building, and the ground floor was rented out to a family. There were three bathrooms, all in a row, and three huge attic rooms which we children used as playrooms when the weather was bad - there were boxes of clothes, games and a huge brass bedstead in each room. From the windows you could see the beach and the sea at the bottom of the square and, twice a day, a herd of cows processed through the square on their way to milking. The garden at the back was massive and filled with every kind of vegetable, including curly kale, which fascinated me. There was a huge strawberry plot and a greenhouse with fragrant tomatoes and a vine twining along the roof.

Magical stuff! Although I loved being there all summer, I certainly didn't realise then just what an idyllic sort of time and place it was.

Quote

2008-04-13T22:19:00.001+01:00

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa.

Family Update

2008-04-13T00:12:00.005+01:00

I know that I haven't posted anything for ages, but I have been terribly busy and have also been unwell. I had one of those horrible headache, dizzy, nausea 'bugs'.

One of the reasons that I'm so busy is because Joe and I soon go on holiday to Salvador, Brazil. We are very much looking forward to the rest and relaxation, but will also explore the history of the area, and I wonder if there will be turtles on the beach! But there is much to do beforehand. Next weekend I go to Perth for my Christian Workers' Certificate Spring Study Day - these are good days but I'm a bit nervous about giving a ten minute presentation.

Our youngest grandson, Iain Joseph, had his first trip to A&E last weekend! He suddenly decided to do a somersault off the sofa, hurting his head, so his mum and dad decided to take no chances and drove to the hospital. Thankfully he is none the worse for his acrobatics!

Tasha, our lovely old cat, is not very well at all. She now has a bad heart and spends a lot of time sleeping. Tablets seem to help however, and she seems happy enough and is eating, which is always a good sign.

Reasons To Be Cheerful!

2008-03-29T22:53:00.007Z

We had such a wonderful Easter weekend at Kilcreggan. I must admit that when I arrived I was feeling pretty frayed at the edges !!!! But, as always, God is good and within 24 hours of having arrived I was feeling rested. By the time we left I felt refreshed physically and spiritually. The house is lovely, the scenery gorgeous - Joe and I took a walk down to the waterfront on the Saturday afternoon (down an amazingly steep hill) - and even the weather was fantastic! The company was brilliant, the food good (and plentiful!) and my bed was right in a bay window overlooking the water - the sunrise on Sunday morning was very beautiful.

We shared times of fun, including a quiz-night and rolling eggs (and people) down a hill on Easter Sunday morning. We experienced a real sense of God's presence during worship and prayer and we soaked in His peace and were 'quietened by his love'. So much more than I can describe here!

As I said, we left on Monday after lunch and even the flurries of snow and the heavy traffic couldn't dampen our spirits! And as we approached home and the 'coming back down to earth with a bump', I looked around and was reminded yet again of what a beautiful part of the world I live in.

HAPPY EASTER!

2008-03-21T00:50:00.002Z

I'll not be blogging for a few days as Joe and I are going to Kilcreggan House, along with lots of others from our Church, for the Easter weekend. I'm sure it is going to be very special.
I wish you a happy time over the Easter holiday!

Sunday Morning

I couldn’t sleep last night,
Or the two nights before,
Nothing is right,
I can’t take any more.

Friday was awful,
The worst day ever,
Dark and dreadful,
And filled with terror.

I saw no-one yesterday,
I sat and thought and cried,
I feel lost without my friend,
And wish it was me who died.

I wish it was Thursday again,
And we were eating supper in the room,
Instead I hide in this damp morning mist,
Watching women walk towards the tomb.

Sheena Conroy

Washday

2008-03-10T23:08:00.003Z

Thought I'd share this wee photo - cheered me on this dreich day!

Computers!!!!!

2008-03-07T16:11:00.004Z

I know I haven't blogged for ages, but there is good reason! Quite apart from being terribly busy, my computer has been totally unreliable.

It starts off fine, then I go away to have a meal or answer the 'phone or whatever and when I return, the screen is blank and nothing will bring it back. Only option is to switch the whole thing off. However, this leads to a process that can take anything up to 2 hours!

When I switch the computer on again it may, or may not, still have a blank screen - only alternative is to switch it off again. This switching on and off can need to be carried out any number of times. When eventually somethings shows on the screen, it is only the wallpaper, with no icons. Again totally useless, so I have to switch the computer off again. This sometimes leads back to the blank screen scenario............

After many attempts, success! A screen displaying icons! However, no connection to the Internet! Or, by way of a change, the keyboard is not working - so, everything is in place but it is not possible to key-in anything. A variation on this is the mouse not working.

Now, when everything is working, I'm reluctant to leave the computer at all because it may revert to the dreaded blank screen - and the whole process begins again! So, if I don't blog again in the near-future, you know why!

Image

Wildlife

2008-02-19T16:51:00.002Z

Well, there I was at 1:00am, doing my usual locking-up..........................

Whilst checking the living room window, something over the road caught my eye - took me a moment or two to realise it was a fox! As casual as you like, walking down the pavement! I've seen foxes on the street when I was staying in Glasgow, but never expected to see one here. I can't imagine where it lives - it is so built-up, with very few green spaces to suit foxes.

However, he or she quite made my day!

Stop the world, I want to get off!

2008-02-16T21:52:00.002Z

I feel a little world-weary. The news seems to be full of sad news - yet another shooting at an American college and, in the UK, a story of young people committing suicide. All so absolutely tragic, and my heart goes out to the parents, families and friends of all these young people. I wish I could do more than just pray for them.

In Britain we have the usual mix of political wrangling, religious misunderstandings and the (boring) ubiquitous cult of celebrity. In Scotland winter is dragging her heels - even though there are some signs of spring - and there's not even anything good on TV to divert us!

On a personal level, I am concerned for Sarah - she is a bit volatile at the moment, and has been suspended from College. There is no easy answer - we just have to wait until she becomes more stable and hope that, in the meantime, she does not loose too many of the things that both she and those who support her have worked so hard for. So, I pray for Sarah too.

Of course, my real problem is that I would just like to be able to 'fix' all these things, but I can't, so I pray - because I know a Man who can help!

And now for the good news ......

2008-02-08T23:06:00.001Z

Spring is on it's way!

image

Power!

2008-02-08T00:59:00.000Z

I seem to be full of wee moans these days....... We have just received a letter from Scottish Gas saying that the cost of both gas and electricity is to increase by 15%. That's a lot. The company say that their costs have increased such a lot that they are having to pass on these costs to their consumers. Fair enough I suppose.

However, I'm curious to know what kind of profit the company is currently making and if they are paying-out to shareholders. It is difficult to find the extra money to pay these increased costs, so how are folk on a pension or suchlike coping?

images

Hurray!!!

2008-02-04T00:20:00.000Z

I've finally submitted my latest (and late) assignment! I'm so relieved I had to share this with someone! Now for the next one, due all too soon. Why am I doing this?

Cholesterol

2008-01-28T18:42:00.000Z

Feeling a bit miffed! I have to double the medication I take for high cholesterol. All seems very unfair - apart from the odd chocolate or piece of (half fat) cheese I eat very little fatty food. Ah well, I suppose it's all for my own good.

A short pause......

2008-01-27T17:12:00.000Z

It's been a while since I posted anything, reason being that I'm soooo busy and will be writing an assignment for the next two days!

However, wanted to mention that Church was great this morning! Three people were Baptised, and there was a real sense of celebration. The Service was followed by a very delicious lunch!

Over the last couple of weeks I have had such a wonderful sense of the absolute 'wonder' of God. It's difficult to put into words. I pray that everyone can experience it!

When I was a child .....

2008-01-19T23:48:00.000Z

When I was a child…..

Time moved very slowly
Summers were sunny
Sleep came easily
And there were no pains in my body.
My heart was undamaged
I trusted the world
Each new thing discovered
Each experience learned.
My mind was free
My spirit could fly
My dance was hope
And my song was joy.

As years passed by
The world pushed in
Trying to steal my joy
And imprison me.
Pain and sadness
Tried to drown me
And hopelessness
Rose up to engulf me.

Though the world has tempted
Bullied and scared me
Though I walk with a limp
And need glasses to see
Though time flies by
And I don’t always cope
My song is still joy
And my dance still hope.

SAC (January 2008)

QUOTE

2008-01-17T21:07:00.000Z

"Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier."

ALBERT SCHWEITZER

SECURITY

2008-01-13T16:39:00.000Z

If I had not been in this place
I would have missed so much.

I would not know the total assurance
That You are in control,
And my anxieties are wasted.

I would never have known
What it is to reach the end of everything,
To discover that it is just the beginning.

The relief of being at the very edge,
And find it holds no fear
Because that is where You are.

To have You help me
Stare terror up close,
And find it doesn’t have a face.

I would have only been able to guess
How much detail You control,
How You arrange all things for our good,
Even though we do not always know
That is what You are doing.

Now I am certain that You are with me,
Everywhere, all the time.
That I am Your child,
That I am in Your care,
That I am loved,
That I am safe.

(I wrote this poem in July 2002, on completion of follow-up treatment for cancer.)

Heros

2008-01-12T17:32:00.000Z

As a wee bit of fun, have been doing some of those "which character are you?" quizzes. Got me thinking. Although I would love to be one of the amazing fictional characters (although maybe only for a wee while!) there are also some real people that I would like to emulate.

Elizabeth Barratt-Browning - for her poetry; Fi Glover or Sandi Toksvig - for their use of language and quick wit; Judith Chalmers - just to visit all the countries that she has!!; Jane Austen - oh to be able to write like that!; Jackie Pullinger - what an amazing woman with an amazing relationship with God! And, from the Bible - Joshua!

So. Who you would like to be? Especially which Bible character?

My News

2008-01-06T20:43:00.000Z

I've had the 'flu - or something very like it! Feeling a bit better today so heading back to work tomorrow.

My Christmas holidays got off to a good start, meeting some of my friends for a meal. We had a great evening!

On Sunday 23rd we had a lovely Christmas Family Service at church and our Sarah was able to join us. In the evening a number of us from church joined some of our friends at a local housing association for a Carol Service.

Joe was working on Christmas Day and the family celebrating in their own homes - so Joe and I had a quiet Christmas dinner when he got home, and we spent time with the family later in the week. Our youngest grandson is now walking, which is keeping his mum on her toes!

Of course we also had snow, which is very pretty (when viewed from inside!)

Well, I wonder what 2008 has in store for us all? I pray that it is full of good things for everyone.

A NEW YEAR

2008-01-01T13:19:00.000Z

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
To anyone who reads this blog - I wish you all that's best for 2008.

I wonder what this year will bring? As usual for this time of year, I was thinking - reflecting on last year and pondering on my hopes for this new one. One of them is that I can grasp the pure joy of the fact that I have a relationship with God!!

Another is that I can find happiness in the simplest of things. I watched Michael Parkinson's final show - a compilation of his memorable interviews. Amongst them was a clip from 1980, of Larry Adler (on harmonica) and Itzhak Perlman (on violin) playing Summertime. At one point, Larry Adler smiled at Itzhak Perlman - and it was a smile of sheer enjoyment! What struck me was that he was smiling out of the sheer pleasure over the music that they were making. He was not smiling because he was being admired by Michael Parkinson, his guests, the studio audience and all those watching at home. He was not smiling because he was famous and rich. He was not smiling because he held centre-stage. He was smiling with the joy of making music with another great musician.

In this age of celebrity, and the desire of so many to be famous for the sake of being famous, I pray that we can all treasure the simple pleasures of life, most of which are found in God's creation - the natural world and people.

Luke 2: 7

2007-12-24T21:40:00.000Z

And she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Happy Christmas!

2007-12-21T00:32:00.000Z

Just want to say "Happy Christmas" to all who read this blog! Have a wonderful Christmas and wishing you peace and joy in 2008.

Here's a Christmas poem I wrote last year.

THE STAR

We have travelled for so long I can barely remember home,
Or what it is like to sleep in the same place every night.
We have rested in the tents of strangers, a palace, and simple homes,
And many times slept under the star, the one that shines so bright.

The nights are very cold, and the days so hot and airless,
As we walk and rest, walk and rest, get up and walk once more.
We stop for food and water at busy meeting places,
And under palm trees men talk in tongues I’ve never heard before.

We travel as if searching, unsure of our destination,
And no-one seems to care why we follow this star.
But steadily I follow my master, for he is certain,
That this star is special, this star that has led us so far.

At last the star halts – have we found what we’re looking for?
I thought we were going to visit a king or a prince!
Instead we are here, standing in straw
Amongst livestock in a rough and dirty place.

But at the end of the building
I see my master and his friends kneeling,
And he is smiling, such a smile upon his face,
As the precious gifts are given to the family
And a baby – a baby who somehow shines,
And I feel love and peace in this place,
So I settle,
And rest,
At last.

The Perfect Christmas Present

2007-12-13T17:46:00.001Z

Perhaps I should say what my perfect Christmas present would be ...........

For the world - peace and harmony

For Scotland - snow, with blue skies

For my city - lots of church bells at midnight on Christmas Eve

For my Church - God's special presence with each person

For my friends - whatever they wish for themselves - and more!

For my family - to know they are deeply loved - and that all is well

For myself - a puppy! (Can't have one - well, not at the moment - but that

would be my perfect Christmas gift.......)

And for everyone everywhere who doesn't already know Him - Jesus - not just as a baby but as their Saviour!

Soooo Busy .........

2007-12-10T22:43:00.000Z

Just in case anyone is wondering why I'm not posting anything new.... I'm rather busy at the moment, writing assignments for my CWC course. Well, actually, there is a lot more than that going on - Christmas is only two weeks away and I have done practically nothing about it yet! Eek!

Is everyone else organised?

Would love to know what everyone's perfect present would be? (Go on - even if you've never left comment before - after all, it is Christmas!)

ANGELS

2007-12-07T00:32:00.000Z

As Christmas approaches, thought I'd post a Christmas poem or two. This one is from 2001.

ANGELS

Gliding over the earth

Pure white brightness

Picking out mountain and plain.

Whispered flight stirring

Forest and sea.

Winds cease,

Clouds part

Under the piercing light

And ageless song

Of the gathered throng.

"Glory ...

Glory to God ...

Glory to God in the highest,

And on earth peace to men

On whom His favour rests."

The fearful men on the the hill

Run to the place where the star is shining,

And the child with the gentle face

Lies in simple splendour,

For ever to be adored.

"Wonderful Counsellor,

Prince of Peace."

Nothing will ever be the same.

God's Son - the gift of grace.

Our Sarah

2007-12-06T20:46:00.000Z

At one point this week it all came back to me - just how fragile
Sarah's place in society is. She is now 36 and suffers from
hydrocephalus and epilepsy. The hydrocephalus was recognised when she was six weeks old - and I had suffered around four weeks without any sleep! The epilepsy was caused because of all the neurosurgery.

I do not mention this because I'm feeling sorry for myself - Sarah brings sunshine as well as challenges into our lives. But I have concern for her - and all those who, like Sarah, are not quite as well-equipped for life as the rest of us.

That being said, Sarah is totally amazing! Perhaps I'll write more about her sometime.

Pictures show Sarah with her dad and nephew.

Indulgence

2007-12-02T23:49:00.000Z

INDULGENCE

There is something simply delicious
About a book shop
The smells, the sights, the sounds
Glossy print, a hint of ink
A feast of colour piled high -
All displayed to please the eye
Tempting crackle of new paper
Seasoned with crisp binding
And a reverend hush
As partakers of the banquet
Whisper and admire.
Each course is sampled, savoured
The best ones chosen
And the diners
Leave the building content
With a doggy-bag of delight.

© Sheena Conroy, (2000) "In Praise of Poets", p. 19, Anchor Books: Peterborough

Random thoughts.........

2007-11-28T17:09:00.000Z

Immediately after my computer recovered, I suddenly became very busy. Various reasons - waiting to see if my work contract was being renewed, writing assignments for my CWC course, suffering with a sore throat and taking our Tasha to the Vet.

Sadly, Tasha has heart problems - she is quite elderly - in human terms she is approaching 105! We take her back to the vet on Monday to get her checked over again, and to collect some medication.

Joe and I celebrate our Wedding Anniversary on Friday, Sarah will be spending Saturday afternoon with us and our middle grandson, Stephen, will be 7 on 11 December. I know we all say it, but time passes so very quickly!

The last couple of Sundays, I have just felt so blessed to be part of my wee Church!! There is such a sense of family. A week past Sunday I was struck by how many folk were quietly ministering to those around them who needed a hug or a kind word. Last Sunday we were blessed with a real sense of worship and, again, that sense of family - I understand that some visitors so felt this that they have said they will be back.

There has been much discussion of what the Church is, and what it should be doing - should we be seeking to 'do' Church in a different way, so that folk who are not from a Church background can relate to what goes on in Church, especially during Sunday services. Most of the discussion has been at a level that I struggle to fully understand, so I have not often contributed. However, I think that the last couple of weeks at my Church may have provided part of the beginning of the answer........

Finally - to bloggers more experienced than I - other than by leaving comments, how do we know if anyone is reading our wee posts or not? Seems such a waste of time otherwise............

How wonderful is this!

2007-11-15T23:26:00.000Z

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

Pandas

2007-11-15T23:15:00.000Z

Joe and I recently watched a programme about the Panda Centre in Fengdu, China and their very successful breeding programme. Reminded me of our visit to the Panda Enclosure at Chongqing Zoo. Here's a picture of one of the babies - he was sooo cute and we were very fortunate to see him!

You're as young as you feel!

2007-11-12T23:07:00.000Z

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve just fallen for the hype! Somebody out there has decided that we should no longer think of our age as our actual age – '60 is the new 50', or some such phrase – but rather, we should laugh in the face of advancing years! We should still be doing everything we ever did, look better than we ever did and see life-long-learning as an essential! We should work hard and play hard - our social lives should be a whirl. We will, of course, look absolutely wonderful as we gallop around taking on exercise, voluntary work and new challenges whilst still managing to whisk through the housework, prove ourselves indispensable in our jobs, and be perfect spouses, parents and grandparents!

Now, I’m not against any of this – I’m not yet at the point where I want to retire to my armchair in front of the fire, watching “Countdown”, whilst sipping a nourishing milky drink and smelling of lavender water. There isn’t anything wrong with any of these things – I just haven’t reached that point yet. I do want to go on working and learning and exploring – I want to continue to dye my hair, listen to some modern music, and try to keep up with technology!

However, I sometimes get tired – more tired than I used to – and sometimes I get wee aches and pains. I would like to be able to say this, to say it without feeling guilty that I’ve somehow ‘let the side down’!

Computer Problems.

2007-11-10T22:06:00.000Z

Did anyone miss me? My computer stopped working last week, just after I posted my last blog. However, thanks to Stuart (a scholar and a gentleman) I have a healthy computer once again!!

Beauty

2007-11-05T23:56:00.000Z

One day last week I was walking from work and the sun was shining and, although there was a wind, it was pleasantly warm. A kaleidoscope of coloured leaves was blowing around the carpark and, because there was a lack of traffic noise, I could hear a bird singing. Work had been calm and straightforward, and I was heading home for a coffee and something to eat. Sometimes there is such a moment ....... a sliver of time when everything seems to fall perfectly into the place that was specifically designed for it, and the result is a momentary sense of absolute beauty and peace..........................

Family News

2007-10-27T22:07:00.000+01:00

At last, our Tasha seems to be back to normal. I was concerned for a while that there was something seriously wrong. However, she's once again eating well and, as you can see, finding the best places to sleep!

Sarah is also sleeping well! I phoned her on Monday evening to be told by her carer that she was already in bed asleep - it was only 7.00pm! Seems a particularly busy day at the local college special unit had exhausted her! Here's a picture of Sarah, with her dad and her nephew.

Young Iain Joseph celebrated his first birthday recently, and his favourite gifts were a box and a balloon! !

Can I come out of my box yet? ......................................................It's my balloon Mum!

Joe will soon be visiting our son, Nathan, and grandson, Stephen, for a weekend, and I only have a few weeks of my work contract left. I can't believe how quickly this year has passed, and now autumn is here! With this sudden, cold weather, despite the stress of its installation, I am very grateful for our new and efficient central heating system! (Even though we still have a leak under the sink........)

TREES

2007-10-25T23:02:00.000+01:00

As autumn is here, I thought I would dig out a very early poem ....

Through bursts of sun and flurries of rain
The trees stand solid
Amid perfect circles of leaves fallen at their feet
Unquestioning
They allow nature to work its change.

Leaves line the driveway, orange, yellow, red
Autumn's rainbow
Cyclamen blossom beneath the tallest birch
The giant beech
Spreads ruby boughs, offering shelter.

Beacons of light glow against green
Lemon, scarlet, amber
Cheering the afternoon's gloom.
The breeze stirs
Treetop leaves whisper farewell to autumn's darkening sky.

Copyright Sheena Conroy, 1998, "Lasting Treasures", p. 38, Triumph House: Peterborough,
HB ISBN 1 86161 444 6, SB ISBN 1 86161 449 7

21st Century Living

2007-10-25T20:58:00.000+01:00

I must just be getting old and crabit and intolerant, but I am getting fed-up with the selfishness of today's society. I know that almost everyone is nice and good - but why is it sometimes so carefully hidden?

It's every man and woman for themselves, with no thought given - or so it would appear - to anyone else around. I began noticing this on the bus in the mornings. I'm not really coming to terms with the fact that older folk, people with mobility problems, and those with young children or lots of heavy bags are usually left standing, while the young and fit remain sitting. This pattern seems to continue wherever there are crowds - shop doors left to bang in people's faces, a rush for the escalator, and the roads are something else..............

How can we begin to change things? Or am I alone in experiencing this feeling?

HELP!

2007-10-21T21:12:00.000+01:00

It has been pointed out that I am not blogging much at the moment. True! I have had a rather fraught couple of weeks, what with the aforementioned installation of a new central heating system and assorted illnesses within the family.

Once all the clearing up was done (well, to be honest, I haven't done all of it yet) I began to prepare for speaking in Church this morning - and things became considerably worse! Somehow, I did something to my back and the pain and immobility yesterday was most inconvenient. Another teething problem from the work on the central heating reared it's ugly head - a veritable waterfall in the cupboard under the sink! This means that the cupboard has to be left empty, so the contents are scattered around the kitchen, added to our pans, mixer and slow-cooker which have become homeless following the removal of the final shelf in the boiler cupboard!

As I have mentioned previously, our cat, Tasha, has been a bit under the weather recently, so we have spoilt her. She is better now, but does not realise that this means the spoiling has come to an end, so she is constantly under my feet. Also mentioned in previous blogs, our ertswhile spasmodically working fridgefreezer now works properly, but only if it is plugged into an extension lead. It is interesting trying to negotiate the obstacle course that is our kitchen, with a bad back and a cat twining itself around your feet!

However, these things are annoying and inconvenient, but they will be sorted out very soon. Compared to many folk, I am very fortunate. I read Graham's most recent post this evening, and I feel bad about my wee domestic rant. I have so much to be grateful for. When life gets fraught, I should always remember that all I have to do is listen to God's "still, small voice of calm". And should life get tougher, then all I have to do is lean on Him and trust Him to guide me through. I wrote the following poem when life was especially difficult.

I've stopped struggling,
I've given in,
Exhausted with the battle
I hand it all to Him.

I'm fully surrendered,
Unable to stand,
He gently scoops me up
In the palm of His hand.

And His love and grace
Come shining though,
His mercy endless,
His promises true.

And I weep
With relief
As I rest
In His care.

Grateful

2007-10-14T21:20:00.000+01:00

Hurrah!! Our new heating is installed, but we are still cleaning, clearing and dealing with the teething problems. I've been a little grumpy because I find this kind of upheaval increasingly difficult to cope with, even with Catriona and Joe helping with the big clean-up.

My grumpiness increased today. When Joe and I returned from Church we found that the fridge-freezer was not working!!! We contacted a number of friends to see if they could offer our frozen food a 'foster home' but, unfortunately, they all had freezers that were already packed full of food, so did not have room to accommodate all ours. Never mind I thought, it's not the end of the world.

Then I really got thinking...... How very fortunate we are to have freezers packed full of food -and, no doubt, full fridges and cupboards too. There must be so many people who are not in such a comfortable situation and I'm ashamed that I am not more grateful about my own situation.............

Signing off......

2007-10-10T22:56:00.000+01:00

..... I have to shut down my computer for a while. Why? The council are coming tomorrow to install a new boiler, fire and radiators. I may be gone for some time!

Family Update

2007-10-09T00:52:00.000+01:00

Well, we've all had some kind of cold, cough or headache - however our elderly cat, Tasha, is much improved!

Despite this, we have been kept busy, busy, busy. Joe and I have both attended training recently. Joe attending training to become part of our local Healing Rooms team, and I was at my Christian Worker's Certificate Study Day. We have both been busy with Church things of one kind or another and, on Thursday, our house will be turned upside down when new radiators, fire and boiler are installed!

We have also been socialising - thoroughly enjoyed dinner with friends at the weekend and last week our youngest grandson, Iain Joseph, celebrated his first birthday! Our other grandsons have birthdays soon - Lewis will be 9 in November, and Stephen will be 7 in December............ then it's Christmas!

The Angel of the North

2007-10-01T20:10:00.000+01:00

I love this sculpture!
Can't be specific about why - I just do.

I passed it a number of times this weekend whilst staying with my friend, Jenna - who, along with husband Dereck, held their wedding reception in a lovely wee hotel very close to "The Angel".

It was a good weekend (although the journey back was a bit of a nightmare!) On Saturday afternoon Jenna and I took 'afternoon tea' at the old County Hotel in Neville Street, right opposite Newcastle Central Station. This was the hotel where we met when we were both working there as receptionists. The food (especially the lemon tart!), the surroundings and the nostalgia-rich conversation were great.
On Sunday morning we attended Bethany Christian Centre - then it was time to leave Newcastle for home. A lovely weekend that passed very quickly!

Geordieland

2007-09-27T01:37:00.000+01:00

I'm off to Newcastle upon Tyne for a few days, to visit my friend and celebrate with her, and her husband, at their wedding reception!! She is a very close friend - we met when we were very young, we are both Christians and she is exactly 20 minutes younger than me! So no blogs from me for a few days (what's new about that, you may ask!)

Cambodia

2007-09-27T00:12:00.000+01:00

Three weeks ago our church held a 'Cambodia Evening' - we ate Cambodian style food, heard about folk we know who are working over there, saw some photographs and a film. It was a great evening!

It also brought back memories of seven years ago, to the day, that four of us from the church made a visit to Cambodia. A trip that had lasting effect on my life - the people, the poverty, the fact that there were no 'safety nets' and that life there is lived 'on the edge'. I also remember how close I felt to God during that trip.

I wrote one or two poems while we were over there, and this is one of them....

Two Girls

Intense heat blankets everything

An overcast sky blocks out the sun

Holds the warmth close around us

As we walk through red dust

And muddy puddles

Towards a bridge of planks

Over a stinking stream

Where shanty huts stand in black water

And rubbish spills over the mud.

Motos and bicycles jostle for space

Careering close to the water's edge

Women with baskets of fruit balanced

Across their shoulders or on their heads

A pick-up truck rattles across

Not stopping as people scatter.

And through the confusion

Of noise, and smell, and dirt

Two school girls

In pristine white blouses

Calmly negotiate the bridge,

Deep in conversation

On their way home.

Healthy Food

2007-09-21T00:32:00.000+01:00

The other week there was a lot of news about the fact that the Government are going to grant pregnant women a sum of £120 towards buying healthy food. I think this is great!

However, I'm just wondering why this amount will be given to everyone - even those who are very well off? I would love to know what others think about this?

For those born in the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s

2007-09-18T00:37:00.000+01:00

I read this recently, and thought I would share some of it.......

We survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a van - loose - was always great fun.

We drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT from a bottle. We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents . We played with worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out any eyes.

Local teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

Another Poem

2007-09-18T00:32:00.000+01:00

Doon Hill is near Dunbar, East Lothian - Joe and I visited in the summer of 2004.

Doon Hill

At the very top of the hill
I’m rooted to the spot
As time ceases
And all becomes still.

The deep hills stand behind me
Spotlighted by the sun,
Shadows protect the secret places
Where the wild creatures run.
Trees murmur to each other
The intrusion of a stranger,
And the sea spread out far below,
Flat and calm and blue.

Silence.

Until the cornfield nearby
Erupts with the song and flight
Of skylarks,
Disturbed
By something unseen.

Silence.

Apart from the hum of a thousand bees
Ecstatic in a banquet of clover
And concerned as I walk by,
Brushing the grass
As I walk the cement lines
That trace the place
Where a building once stood
In a different time.

Ages melt together – did they see
The skylarks and the bees,
Did they listen to the stillness
And feel the peace balm of this place?

© Sheena Conroy, 2005,
Celebrations, p.436, Anchor Books: Peterborough, HB ISBN 1 84602 025 5

There, but for the grace of God ........

2007-09-14T00:27:00.000+01:00

I have just watched 'Ghosts' - the story of the 2004 Cocklemouth tragedy, in which Chinese cockle-pickers were trapped and drowned by the rising tide. The victim's families are still paying off their 'debts'. Sadly, the Government won't help.

The whole programme was terribly sad and I feel so angry that people continue to use vunerable people for their own financial gain. I also feel extremely grateful to have the life I have.....

Family Update

2007-09-04T22:49:00.000+01:00

I have just spent a few days without the internet - due to network maintenance. Perhaps I am more that 43% addicted to blogging after all - and can identify with Graham's relief at being back online!

Catriona and wee Iain Joseph visited us recently, and I can't get over how quickly Iain Joseph is developing.

He is now crawling, so Catriona will be kept on her toes!!

Last week I took a wee trip down Nostalgia Avenue! As a birthday present, a friend bought me a concert ticket to see The Animals & Friends. Before they hit the 'Big Time' in the 60s, they were the resident band at the club where I worked in Newcastle upon Tyne. I really enjoyed the concert - good music, I unexpectedly met a friend who was there too, and I even got to chat to the band afterwards - great musicians and really nice guys too!

So close!

2007-08-30T15:11:00.000+01:00

I keep remembering a near-accident that I witnessed last week. I was making my way to the bus-stop, after leaving a friend's house, and was waiting to cross a very busy road. Suddenly, out of nowhere, appeared a tiny tot - who just took off over the road! A car missed her by a fraction.

I don't know why I keep remembering this - probably because it gave me such a fright! I think of the little girl and wonder if she will now always be scared of busy roads. I think of her Mum and wonder how she feels every time they have to cross roads. And I think of the driver - what a fright he must have had - and I wonder if he now drives a lot slower.

How fragile we are. In our lives there is always potential for unexpected, sudden change. I try really hard to remember this - to sieze each moment and make it count - to be thankful for all that I have..........

Giggle!

2007-08-27T23:08:00.000+01:00

If I'm feeling a bit down or troubled, I have a wee watch of this clip of our youngest grandson - it always helps!

Shocked and sad

2007-08-25T17:00:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling shocked. Is anyone else feeling the same?

On August 12, Gerry Tobin was shot and killed on the M40. Then, on August 22, young Rhys Jones was shot and killed in Croxteth, Merseyside. Today, I read that two people were seriously injured following a street-shooting in Letchworth on the morning of 23 August and, I believe last night, two doormen were shot and injured outside a club in Liverpool. Sadly, the violence continues - today I read that, in Sunderland, a man with learning difficulties has died following a 'savage and prolonged attack by a gang of five youths'.

What is going on? Is violence on the increase - this cannot, surely, be a normal level? What can be done to halt the violence? What can be done to comfort the family and friends of those who have been killed or injured? What can be done to save those who are being influenced, by peer pressure, into the gang culture?

It is all so very sad............. Like many others, I pray for all those whose lives have been touched by the violence of the last few weeks.

People, people, people!

2007-08-21T23:51:00.000+01:00

Some worthy bloggers (Graham and Stuart) have been discussing ‘leaders and followers’ and ‘leading and managing’. I indicated that I would post something which is close to my heart and connected to this.

Some time ago, I was reading from Exodus, and was struck by Ch.28, v.9-12 and v.29-30. These verses describe the priestly garments - how the names of the 12 tribes were to be engraved on two onyx stones, which were to be set in gold filigree and then fastened to the shoulder pieces of the ephod – “Aaron is to bear the names on his shoulders as a memorial before the LORD.” Then – “Whenever Aaron enters the Holy Place, he will bear the names of the sons of Israel over his heart.” And - “Thus Aaron will always bear the means of making decisions for the Israelites over his heart before the Lord.”

Prior to reading this I think God was (and still is) speaking to me about people – that it’s all about people, people, people – to love God first, and then to love others. Perhaps I’m over-simplifying this, however, I think that if we first love God and seek His love so that we can truly love others, then marvellous things begin to happen! For the body to function properly, each individual part requires nourishment – the nourishment of love, care, acceptance, respect, and value. When the parts of the body are fully nourished, they will be fit and able to fulfil their God-given ministries.

For this to happen I believe that all of us, especially leaders, are required to ‘bear the names of their people over their hearts when they go before the Lord’. When churches are led in this way, leaders are ‘leading’ rather than ‘managing’, and ‘followers’ feel that the part they have to play is just as essential – that they are valued, and what they do is meaningful – and that’s leading back to last Sunday’s sermon………….

Family News

2007-08-21T23:16:00.000+01:00

Our slightly elderly cat, Tasha, has not been herself recently. She appeared one day with a badly bleeding ear, so it was necessary to make a visit to the Vet where an expensive blood test proved that she was 100% fine! A day or so later she was off-colour - lay on the sofa all day, not eating or drinking and for the world appeared to have a terrible cold. She is almost better now - just in time to return to the Vet for her annual booster and check-up. Where's my cheque book? Groaning in a corner!

I visit our daughter and grandson one day each week. When I was there last Friday, Catriona was working upstairs while I amused Iain Joseph. At one point she flew into the room, grabbed her camera and galloped up the stairs. When she reappeared, she had a photo of a small bird of prey which had killed something on her lawn! We would love to know what this bird could be? It was quite small - much smaller than a Kestrel.

Tonight I attended my husband's graduation - he recently passed his SVQ level 3. The graduation was a nice occasion, held in a nice hotel - the weather was good, there was a very pretty garden with a pipe band playing Highland Cathedral, and everyone all dressed up! One of Joe's friends and I cheered him on as he took to the stage to receive his certificate. I'm sure it all passed really quickly for him, but I have the photos to remind him, and a framed copy will go beside the photos of our two daughters at their graduations!

A Poem

2007-08-17T21:11:00.001+01:00

It has been suggested that I post some of my poems, so here is the first one.....

Home

Travelling north to where I was born
Toward summers of childhood memories
I catch the yellow fields set against blue sea
And know that this is home.

Echoes of school call from the city
Of kind eyes and easy humour
Where my faith was awakened and born
This is also my home.

Yet home is here, my heart is set
Where our children grew among castles and hills
And together we continue to make
This place that is our home.

And still to come, another place
Where I will rest amid beauty and calm
A mansion purchased by love and grace
My everlasting home.

© Sheena Conroy (July 1999)

BIRTHDAYS!

2007-08-17T20:44:00.000+01:00

Lots of my friends and family have birthdays in August – my own is on the 12th and I celebrated my 60th this year. I received lots of cards, gifts, flowers and messages and – I flew a helicopter! Yes I did – Joe has the photos to prove it! (Says much about my husband that he was happy to sit in the back seat while I took the controls - brave man!)

On Wednesday it was the birthday of our elder daughter, Sarah, (who is physically and mentally disabled - and totally amazing). I spent a lovely hour and a half with her, drinking tea and eating cake, while she opened our gifts and told me about the rest of her day.

Then yesterday it was the 65th birthday of one of the ladies who has been coming along to Summer Cell Group. We had a great night celebrating with her.

All the celebrations and flowers and cakes and gifts are absolutely wonderful – but it occurred to me that these things are not sufficient in themselves. The really important thing to me on my birthday was the knowledge that people actually care! A birthday with no cards or gifts, but with caring folk around you, is a good day! A birthday with mountains of cards and gifts, but no-one to share it with, is surely a sad day.

I would love to know what everyone else liked best about their last birthday?

Is it me?

2007-08-14T22:03:00.000+01:00

As always, caught the bus to work this morning and, as always, it was difficult to find a seat.

I used to get annoyed when I saw young, fit people continuing to sit when older people, or women with shopping or young children had to stand. Inevitably it was older, rather than younger, people who gave up their seat to those in greater need.

However, it got worse! People often sit on the aisle seat and do not bother to move over to the window seat to give someone else a seat. And this morning took the biscuit! I struggled to find a seat - folk were either sitting on the aisle seat or were using it for their bags - and you would be suprised how unwilling they are to either move over, or put their bags elsewhere.

This world is crying out for a kind touch. I feel sad when people are genuinely surprised when a stranger does them a kindness, or smiles at them. As Christians, what an opportunity we have to show love and compassion! Our light can shine brighter when it's pretty gloomy out there!

Muse and Whether

2007-08-14T15:10:00.000+01:00

'Muse' for obvious reasons - 'Whether' this is a good idea or not!

Is it wise to inflict my random thoughts on the (few) who may read them? Why is that we always have so much to say, every day, on any topic - until we are given a blank page?

Anyway, here I go - an electronic adventure............